I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
