What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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