Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
