Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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