you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
