the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
