Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Never underestimate the power of titties
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