What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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