If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He better not be in your backpack
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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