She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
