She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
