hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
