Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
