I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
