hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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