my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize