im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
