I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
