He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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