I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
