We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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