I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
