halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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