He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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