how can u be prego again
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
