Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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