I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
