did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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