therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
