her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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