how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
