I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize