Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
