Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
