Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
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So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
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Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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