I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
