If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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