am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize