I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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