Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Enjoy the penises
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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