i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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