No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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