i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
