is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
