they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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