The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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