just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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