what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you inspire me to be a worse person
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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