I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize