Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
