All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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