Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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