I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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