someone threw a dead crab at me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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