Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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