He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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