Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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