Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
