He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
