I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
