I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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