her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize