i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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