Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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