Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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