Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
