Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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