This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
