I forgot how hot balto sounded
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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