Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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