I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
