Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
