I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
