weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
